I often get asked, “What’s your story? How did you get here?” I like the question because it allows me a chance to express that life is a series of guideposts, pointing the way. Some posts are loud and obvious. Some are easier to miss or misread, but all are here to shape your human life toward your personal healing and to open you up to a Spiritual purpose and a reconnection with others.
So, where is here, anyway?
Here is a date May 2021 and a place. It’s in my private fitness studio, at my home office or on my screen where I coach, train, and guide clients to listen to their bodies and honor their spirits as they learn to make peace with themselves, embrace the process of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual healing and restore their health using some of life’s best teachers: fitness, nutrition, breath work, sleep, mindfulness, relationships, beliefs, the nervous system and the interconnectedness of all things …which is also what I’ve done for myself for the past 19 years and one of the primary reasons I’m “here” now.
“Here” is a seed planted in me years ago that is now bursting forth with life energy to grow my business and make available the benefits of returning to holistic practices, natural rhythms, and innate intelligence. “Here” is an experience of life that is rich, full of possibility, with just enough frustration to keep me grounded but also plenty of joy and curiosity to keep me growing and seeking.
So, my story and how I got here…started with a knowing.
I knew I was different at age 8. The other girls could eat one or two cookies, but I wanted more than that and I wanted it urgently. I knew then that something was wrong – with me.
I Knew at age 9 that if I didn’t put all of the stuffed animals on the bed with me at night they would feel left out. I couldn’t bear the thought of this and so I made space for each and every one of them. I knew then that there’s was enough room for us all.
I Knew at age 15 to quit ballet. I knew the pressure was mounting. Instead of accepting an offer to join a pre-professional ballet program, I knew to stay in school and try new things. This knowing came from deep in me and was so subtle I almost missed it.
I Knew at age 24 that I needed help. The disordered eating and excessive exercise had wreaked havoc on my health, my marriage, my psyche, my spirit. Once again, I knew something was wrong with me. Shame wanted to keep me in the shadows, but that deeper Knowing gave me courage to step into the light.
I Knew throughout my mid-late 20’s that getting a degree in Nutrition Therapy and a certification in Yoga were the next right steps for my healing. This Knowing made it easy to create time and energy for these rigorous programs. I did it for me. To understand myself better. To make peace with my body, with food, with fitness. To heal the damage I had created.
What I didn’t know was that all the “good behavior” in the world around food and fitness couldn’t quiet the demons in my mind that waged war daily. Sure, I was no longer exercising excessively, or restricting, bingeing and purging in circular order but I was still trapped. I Knew it. Trapped in my mind, in victimhood, in fear, in shame, in smallness. In not good enough-ness.
It was torture, living with such self-loathing. So, when I met a life coach who offered me a way out I Knew this was the next right step in my journey to wholeness. She taught me about the mind, the ego, and the voices we all have in our heads that pull us this way and that. She asked really good questions that unravel my limiting beliefs. I began to understand the inner-workings of my mind – especially that 8 year old inside that “knew something was wrong with her”. I learned to get wildly curious and to release judgment. I learned to ask better questions, to engage in radical acceptance. As the layers of self-ignorance shed off, I began to delight in finding out who I am when I’m rooted in Love, Respect, Curiosity, Kindness, and Gratitude. I began to feel whole and deeply connected; the fractures in my mind weaving into an innate strength, wisdom and peace.
This was my first Awakening. I can see now that I had been waking up for many years, but seemed to easily fall under the veil of fear repeatedly. This was different. I came alive – the I that has nothing to do with things and thoughts and identities; but rather the I that cannot be contained in things, that observes the thoughts, that is connected to Source because it is Source.
My business began to reshape itself. No longer was I satisfied to put clients through workouts and call it a day. Our work needed to be deeper, more meaningful. These people needed to heal in all areas of their life from the inside out. And so, Whole Life Health was reborn.
I began with a more clinical take on Nutrition Therapy, but after several years found that even holistic practices can turn reductionist. I began to expand my approach, establishing principles rather than protocols. The language of Whole Life Health began to weave into all facets of my work and life.
I began to attract clients who wanted this kind of experience – to be free from the fitness fads and diet dogma that kept luring them into program after program, to be deeply and richly connected to themselves, to others and to Life, to feel autonomous and competent in caring for themselves at any phase of life. They wanted to create Whole Life Health.
For over a decade, I have evolved right along side my business. I plan to continue this evolution for decades more. Today, I incorporate a series of modalities to help clients heal their relationship with themselves through food, fitness, and all of life’s various guideposts. My mission is that each person get to experience authentic Enthusiasm humming through every cell of their being that comes from cultivating the joy and connectivity of Life. From this space I believe we impact those around us in a truly beneficial way. The ripple effect of this work knows no bounds… this I Know.